So much to my identity as a writer has been formed by the fiction I have read. For the greater part of my life, that has been young adult fiction. When I entered the MFA program, there was no doubt in my mind that I would finish the program with a novel manuscript in hand. During my undergraduate career, I had taken poetry classes, but that was not where I thought I would spend the majority of my efforts. However, what I wanted to accomplish in the program changed as my understanding of fiction was altered through coursework.

First of all, my perception of what fiction could accomplish was broadened. Books like Gold Fame Citrus by Claire Vaye Watkins and the Dust Lands series by Moira Young changed my preconceived ideas about violence in novels, particularly when it involves young characters. Fiction is often criticized as escapist, but Watkins and Young threw their characters into desperate situations, with a range of complex problems and emotions to face. With the popularization of young adult work has come the popularization of young adult love stories, and more commonly, love triangles. Far too many times, female characters' strength is defined by the choices they make in regards to their love life. I grew frustrated with that approach and knew I wanted to write female characters whose life existed beyond that archetype.

In order to defy the stereotype, I looked to nonfiction to find strong women. Books like Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay gave me a jumping off point for defining a powerful woman, but then I turned to my own life to find relevance in those examples. What did I, as an average human being, draw power from? When, if at all, had I lost that power? What are the conflicts I face in everyday life, particularly as a young adult and as a woman? Coming from a conservative background, how had my ideas about feminism and strength changed as I matured?

My own nonfiction became a sort of proving grounds, one where I hashed out my understanding of myself and my own feminism. At the same time as I viewed myself as a strong woman, I also understood that my strength did not exclude me from feeling deep and personal emotions, and the vessel for me to express those emotions became poetry. The more I explored these questions in myself, the more they became relevant to my fiction, and the more I felt I could not write a thesis without the three genres side by side. Like my own characters, I had been on a journey as I came of age, one that revolved around health and family, which became the central themes that I would work within all three genres that make up my manuscript. I found that theme remained relatable even as I transposed it into ever more genres and fantastic situations.